Saturday, July 27, 2002

This harsh patchwork of what I do, think and feel is getting more ragged everyday, tearing wherever’s possible. I have neither skills nor energy to mend it and I’m sick and tired of trying. Just give me the damn scissors...

Duo: Oi, A-chan, shut up! Feeling sorry for yourself won’t do you no good!
A: It’s easy for YOU to say...
D: *raises an eyebrow*
A: *hastily* OK, maybe not. *pout* I just don’t know what to do with myself. It seems so pointless!
D: Tsk, A-chan. Stop caring so much! Nothing’s half as complicated as you think it is! Have fun, go out, watch some good comedy, sing (I know you love it)! Braid your hair...
A: Nani?
D: Braid your hair, silly! It’s really soothing.
A: Yeah, maybe with hair as long as yours...
D: Any hair long enough to braid will do! Just try it...
A: Come on, man, I weave my hair everyday and it doesn’t...
D: ‘Cause you think about 100 different things during the process! You don’t really concentrate...
A: *sarcastically* You’ve studied some zen shit or somethin’?
D: *grins* Nope. Talked to Wu-chan.
A: Don’t mention THAT guy to me! If he was here all he’d have to say would be that it’s easy to give in instead of fighting your weaknesses in order to improve and that I’m a hopeless weakling if I can’t do the latter...
Wufei: *appearing from nowhere* And it’d be all true, wouldn’t it?
A: *startled* Shimatta! *blinks* Oh, gimme a break, will ya? I’m not even 1/100 as strong as you!
W: Who says you CAN’T be?
A: ...
W: *exasperated* I’m not going to put up with this shit! Come on, nŭ, what do you have all those „wise” books for? One thing at a time, remember? One thing to examine, to improve, to change at a time. It’s easy! And keep your head up!
D: That’s right, A-chan, head up! And smile!

And so it went... It’s a good thing I don’t have the guts to do anything stupid to myself, seeing as I felt more than pathetic for the last couple of days. *mops her brow* Yeah, I’m better now, hopefully.

Saturday, July 20, 2002

Grateful that zasjah is my pen-pal :))
Have learned that basically our blood has the same consistency as sea water, with only a few other elements added.
Music playing in my head: “All You Wanted” Michelle Branch

I’ve met my ex-coworker lately, and she turned out to be the ex-worker, too. That son-of-a-bitch not only sacked her, but also took disciplinary action against her! Now, I don’t care if he deceived ME for 4 months, making me work for shit money – because, hello? half a loaf is better than no bread – then “sacked me” anyway, all this without any damn paper. I’m truly happy I don’t work for him anymore! But she’s got 3 kids to raise and really liked her job, so sue me but I’ll call him bastard any time.

I got soaked on my way to work yesterday (when I finally decided I didn’t need an umbrella the guy up there apparently decided to prove me wrong *g*) The funny part is, I remembered Rainy Day Lovers and tried to imagine the drops of water as eager fingertips exploring my body *nope, didn’t work* The rain was so cool and prickly it felt rather as if a whole gang of pixies and sprites placed tiny, hasty kisses all over me. A bit unnerving, that was...

Who's your celebrity match? Find out @ Mind-Blowing!!!

Heee! But I have to admit, it was a bit obvious sometimes.

Monday, July 15, 2002

Grateful for the constructive criticism.
Have learned to keep my mouth shut, hopefully.
Music playing in my head: „Take My Hand” Dido

Finally, they played „Spiderman” in our cinema. I went. I saw. I liked it. That’s all. *vbg*
Also, have watched „Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister” again. „Ugly” is the last word I’D choose to describe Azura Skye with! She’s as lovely as her name, which kinda says it all *am too lazy to elaborate on her bright eyes, sun-kissed hair and really gorgeus mouth... whoops*

Doomed to be Legolas!

The book you was far more interesting and diverse a character then
the film you. Too bad they've turned you into a pretty boy and cut all
your lines. The consolation is all the girls love you (I can feel Tolkien
turning over in his grave as we speak) and your hair is the envy of
women and bald men alike!

member of the Fellowship are you doomed to be?

to you by


Thursday, July 11, 2002

Grateful for the cool wind in my face...
SADs lose their mystical aura *g*
Music playing in my head: „Wherever You Will Go” The Calling (I like the „club-clip” better)

Are you NASTY or NICE?

Quiz made by Angela
Well, I have my moments. Yesterday is a good example – I was a real pain in the ass, both to others and myself. Had to do some serious thinking afterwards (not to mention some peculiar conversations with my anime alter ego *g*)... I still feel like sullen girl today but the whole impression is MUCH better.
And yeah, I feel like writing some more of „The Stitch” right now (inspiration can be found in the most bizarre places...).

Monday, July 08, 2002

My Uncle died. He was 44... I always called him Big Uncle, and so he was, full of jokes and with the literally breathtaking bearhug. What I can’t stand is that he could have lived still, if the fucking bitch from an ambulance service hadn’t refused to treat him!!! He acted like drunk? And where the fuck have you studied that you don’t know it’s one of the cerebral haemorrhage symptoms?!
Maybe he would’ve died anyway... but it’s NOT fair she didn’t even try. And even if they sack her, even if she’s sorry, it won’t bring him back. I still can’t believe it.

Saturday, July 06, 2002

Am grateful for the weekend...
Music playing in my head: "Love At The First Sight" Kylie Minogue

On days like today nothing seems to be worth the trouble of moving a finger in order to actually get it (unfortunately days like this are usually the cleaning days...). With my brain sizzling I can’t help but smile at the idea that Thinking is overrated.
But then again, there’s this one irritating Chinese boy at the back of my mind, saying: "It is not honorable to give in to your weaknesses. Once you finish the tasks that had to be done may you rest – for a while.” You forgot to add that the only time we really get to rest is when we’re dead.

Thursday, July 04, 2002

I’ve been spending a lot of time reading Noxy’s fiction lately. So, have I ever had a perfect moment to spoil? Sadly, nope.

Wednesday, July 03, 2002

Grateful for a chance given (till September, anyway)
Have learned the computer programmes are easier to handle than some people *g*
Music playing in my head: „Stop Crying Your Heart Out” Oasis mixed with „Complicated” Auril Lavigne (very fitting, I must say)

I made a choice. Time will tell if I was right (too bad I-fucking-suck-at-waiting)... So, isn’t it strange I get myself into finanses and calculus AGAIN?! Nope. We really NEED money right now and I gotta do whatever I can to help and avoid „casualties”.

Your magical style is Faery.

What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox

THIS will have to wait...